Friday, January 06, 2006

Speeding Tickets and Liver Cancer

My Christmas vacation was slightly dampened by my getting a speeding ticket on Christmas Eve on the way to AR. I convinced myself not to worry too much about it, despite the money it would cost in both fines and increased insurance rates. Besides, I had Christmas to enjoy. And enjoy Christmas I did, and New Year's too--until today. Today I discovered how much this little speeding ticket was going to cost. Lets just say...The small town I was ticketed in likely generates 80% of their revenue through traffic citations. Perhaps even 90%. My heart dropped when I heard the amount.

Later on today I spoke with a friend whose dad is dying of liver cancer. His dad is on the waiting list for a new liver, and got the call early last Saturday that one was available. The dad rushed to the hospital while my friend scrapped his Saturday plans and raced to Houston. He spent the drive praying for a successful operation as well as preparing himself for the possibility of his dad's death. However, when the dad was almost to the operating room and my friend was nearing Houston the doctors were told that the liver wasn't viable after all. No liver, no surgery. The cancer is still there, though.

My friends' response? "Well, we're right back where we started--" I assumed he meant the agonizing wait for a liver that may never come, waiting even as the impassively deadly cancer continues to kill the man he loves most. Only, this was how he finished: "right in God's hands."

I got a speeding ticket and swore profusely. His dad, dying of cancer, was granted his most desperate wish, only to have it torn from his grasp just before his fingers could lace themselves around it. He praised God.

Faith. Hope. Love. All three are integral aspects of worshiping a God we cannot see in a world full of apparently meaningless agony (or, in my case, decided inconvenience). How do we remind ourselves of the reality of God in everyday life? Or, better yet, how do we tear the scales from our eyes so that we might be able to see God within the brutal chaos of real life? How do we embrace a Spirit?

Faith. Hope. Love.


Blogger benji said...

I love the honesty I find on this blog. It's like reading in your journal. Thanks.

7:15 PM  
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