Sunday, July 30, 2006

So it's been awhile...mostly because I stopped thinking the last couple of months. Kinda got burned out on school, theology, and employing the little gray cells altogether. My hangover lasted most of the summer. I spent most of it stumbling around in after the fashion of a bleary-eyed drunk; relaxed and extremely happy, but not very productive.

It's only been in the last few weeks that my mind has begun to awaken, which has felt more like treading water in molasses than thousands of synapses firing off their charges in an electric symphony of connections. You may have to bear with me.

I've been reading a lot of Brian McLaren this summer. Here is a line from one of his books: "If... Christianity...wasn't radically generous, it was a waste of time." Moreover, "If we can't discipline ourselves to learn the joys of generous living, I think we're an embarrassment to the gospel." Lines like these always leave me feeling like I just realized that my fly is open. I have the potential to be embarrassed, but there is also the chance that if i hold really still no one will notice my inadequacies.

The truth is, I do an ok job of giving money away; I basically follow the oft-endorsed tithing 10% model. (+/- some). But I long to hold my money loosely, open to sharing on all sides. I'm tired of prying my fingers back every time the offering plate rolls by. Why do i always think of my bills, my entertainment, and my savings account before I think of that dirty, bearded guy I see on the corner on the way home? Why does an Ipod loom larger in my mind than God's gentle reminder that I am a steward? How do I replace cold consumerism with the warm embrace of radical generosity? Because that is the ultimate end of this radical kind of generosity. It results in a bearhug, both from God to us and from us to those whom we share with.